- Had an affair with my husband’s best friend.
- Bought an Infinity G35 for a guy I had met once.
- Moved in with a guy I met in the Special Care Ward.
- Had that schmuck’s name tattooed on my back.
- Racked up $20k in credit card debt buying random crap. (I don’t have any of it anymore)
- Became obsessed with a guy who lived in a different country and when shit didn’t go good with him I OD’d.
- Pushed away damn near everyone who cared about me.
- Had sex with any guy who was even remotely nice to me because in my mind (back then) sex = love.
- Drank so much I honestly pickled my liver. (it has since recovered)
- Made a 2 hour round trip twice a week for several weeks to visit another schmuck who was in the regional mental health facility. I was his chewing tobacco mule.
My life has not always been glorious or glamorous or even all that worth living. But I’ve been working on all of this for quite a while now, at least 5 years, and life is dramatically different. The majority of my debt these days is student loans from my Master’s degree. The name got covered up. The car got sold. I have a group of people who love me and, for some unknown reason, continue to put up with my bullshit.
All of that to say this…
Just because life sucks today doesn’t mean it will still suck tomorrow. Hang in there, keep fighting, keep pushing, you can totally do this. You will totally do this. I believe in you.