Life Through the Lens is a photo/drawing challenge thing that Diana and I organized. (mostly Diana – I just make banners) The theme for this first week is “fear.” And unfortunately, which image to use was easy for me. This isn’t one that I took, but I’m in it, so I’m going to call that close enough.
me and my dad, Thanksgiving 2008 (I think)
My dad died in February 2012 of a very aggressive, very nasty form of cancer. By the time he had a diagnosis it was too late. There was nothing to do but make him comfortable and pray like hell that he didn’t linger too long.
In all the times I’ve tried to take my own life I’ve never felt fear. All of the car accidents, all of the near misses, all of the other shitty things that I’ve brought on myself – I never once felt fear. But when my dad got sick, I was petrified.
I miss him, a lot. He was a great dad and I always knew that he loved me and was proud of me. I’m still doing my best to make him proud. (you too, Mom)
Now, let’s not all be all bummed out because it’s time for…
In all reality, I had no idea where the hell else to stick this post this week, so there ya go. The theme for this week was “memories of a childhood vacation.” My first thought when Juls and I discussed this was, “how in the fuck am I supposed to draw shit that I don’t remember?” (I remember very little of being a small person for some reason. I blame the drugs. And the Lithium.)
And then I remembered the vacation my sister and I took with my dad’s parents when I was about 11, maybe. It was very eye opening. We drove from here – middle of the country, literally – out to the east coast to visit my uncle and his family who lived in Maryland, near DC. DROVE there. And my grandfather was a shitty fucking driver even then. Motion sickness galore.
Anyway, my favorite memory from that trip was the day we went to the beach. We all got sunburned as fuck, plenty of sand in our bathing suits and butt cracks, and on the way home we stopped at a roadside vendor and bought several large paper grocery sacks of freshly steamed Maryland Blue Crabs. My aunt covered the patio table with newspaper, we stayed in our bathing suits, and dug in.
Somewhere I posses a photo of the carnage – it was EPIC. Nothing on this earth have I encountered that is as delicious as freshly steamed Maryland Blue Crab eaten right out of the shell with your bare hands while wearing your still wet bathing suit. Nothing.
That is my homage to the Maryland Blue Crab. May he ever be tasty.
And now, because it’s Friday, here’s a random funny…
Mental in the Midwest 
I was so sorry to read about your Dad. That must’ve been such an awful time for you all.
The picture of the crab is great! And the holiday memory really does sound like a treasure-I’m like you in the respect I have very few memories from my childhood. This may sound like a dumb question (but honestly, I’ve never seen them!) are they actually blue?? I’m not sure I’d be able to get my head around blue food lol 🙂 xx
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Thanks, it was rough. He was diagnosed right after Thanksgiving (end of November) and then passed in February, so only a few months. I’ve known others with different kinds of cancer that lingered in terrible pain for far longer.
Ok, the crabs – I don’t honestly recall that clearly. I’m thinking maybe they’re like lobster where they’re one color when they’re alive and then another color after being cooked. When I went looking for a reference picture those were all blue.
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Now I’m really curious! I’ll have to make it my mission to find a photo of a cooked blue crab tonight lol xx
Oh I forgot to tell you! I’ve been getting my teeth into some right creative stuff this week-you’ll be proud of me! Hopefully there’ll be a post about it this next week 🙂 xx
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I read the bit about the surgical gloves being necessary to protect you from wicked burns, so I figured something had to be going on. It is nice to know I’m not the only one who can’t be trusted with hot or sharp objects. 😉
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Beautiful post…
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Thank you. 🙂
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Losing your dad…so hard, but it seems you must still feel him around you or beside you perhaps. I can’t even imagine.
Wouldn’t it be nice not to be living in a landlocked place, where we had access to fresh seafood…yummers! 🙂
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To be honest, it would be nicer for me to be able to visit the coasts more regularly, but I wouldn’t want to live that near that large a body of water. There are things I absolutely adore about living where I do, but having the ability to travel a little more in the ways I prefer would be awesome. One of the things I love about being here is that we have a seafood market that flies in fresh fish/etc every morning. We pay more for it, but I also don’t deal with hurricane season. 😉
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That’s a lovely pic of you and your Dad. Your drawings are just getting better and better. By the way I didn’t even know blue crabs existed before I watched My Kitchen Rules lol
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Thanks! I wish I felt like I had some time to draw right now. Work has been such a fucking disaster that by the time I get home all I want to do is die. Last night I did manage to cast on for a knitting project, but I couldn’t even do the first row – too fucking tired. 😦
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I know that feeling. I’m never usually like this, I think the meh is dragging me under, either that or the new job is, I’m tired by the time I get home but after I stand and make the tea I just want to fall onto the floor in a heap and have a power nap lol
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I am right there with you. I had to work late tonight so Josh had our meal ready very shortly after I got home. It was like heaven.
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